“I still can’t get the mental image of ponytail blonde popping the granny’s eyeballs out of my head”

Real TTers like you but a bit more proactive nominated themselves to review Ashes, the book that’s been paying our bills for the last month. Did they enjoy it? You bet they did! Here’s their real, honest reviews of what exactly they thought of the gore-fest.

Now you’ve read the book – first impressions?
Rebecca Lever: At first I thought the book was slightly strange and not the type of book that I would normally read, so I didn’t expect it to be as good as it was!
Georgina Edwards: Such an addicting book! Every chapter left you wanting more and there were plot twists that I really didn’t expect! So much better than I expected. Although I did think there was going to be more of a love story.
Naomi Shammas: I really liked the book. It drew me in at first with Alex, as she was a character who really wasn’t perfect, but she was determined and not at all clichéd – I really liked that. Ellie was realistic, which was good, though I wish her grandad hadn’t died so quickly, he seemed really nice :( It’s more rough than most books of its type, which was cool. It was kind of grittier, but I like that it’s not trying to be like others similar to it!
Emma Pollard: My first impressions were the book cover looked really scary. I wanted to know who the girl was and what she was going to be getting up to.
Rebecca Cannings: I didn’t know what to expect when I first started reading Ashes, but from the first few chapters I could tell it was going to be a great read.

“The way it was written was just right. Not like other books, it has its own style.”

Is popped eyeballs and half-eaten bodies enough gore for you?
Rebecca Lever: There was quite a bit of gore in the book but in Ashes, the more the better.
Georgina Edwards: I think there was enough gore to make it creepy but much more and I think the book would have freaked me out a bit!
Naomi Shammas: Hell no! The gory vivid descriptions were definitely all that I could handle :D
Emma Pollard: I think that the scary bits were enough for me as I’m not the sort of person that can sit down and watch a horror movie without closing my eyes. The way it was written was just right. Not like other books, it has its own style.
Rebecca Cannings: The amount of gore in Ashes is just enough for me, I think that if there was any more included then it may have been over the top, the bits of gore that were in the story were perfectly described and it balanced the story out.

So… THAT ending. Jaw-to-the-floor cliffhanger or fiendish plot to get you to buy the sequel?
Rebecca Lever: I thought the ending was perfect and was a mega cliffhanger… I never expected that to happen. I will definitely be buying the sequel!!
Georgina Edwards: Both but it’s going to work! I will definitely be buying the sequel.
Naomi Shammas: A little mixture of both, I love a killer cliffhanger but they make me soo desperate for the next book!
Emma Pollard: I wouldn’t have put the ending like that. I would make it more scary so I would have wanted to read on and find out what will happen next.
Rebecca Cannings: The ending was a great way to end the story on a cliffhanger and it definitely make me want to go and buy the sequel to find out what will happen to Alex and the rest of the human race.

Have you been admitted to a psych ward, or have the nightmares stopped now?
Rebecca Lever: The nightmares have stopped and I haven’t been admitted to a psych ward… Yet!
Georgina Edwards: Nightmares! What nightmares?
Naomi Shammas:Well, I still can’t get the mental image of ponytail blonde popping the granny’s eyeballs out of my head…
Emma Pollard: I had nightmare thoughts before I went to bed but I haven’t actually dreamed about it.
Rebecca Cannings: I haven’t had any nightmares or have been admitted to a psych ward but if there are any chapters in the sequel that include more popped eyeballs I’m sure I’ll probably need to be admitted to a psych ward ASAP.

• Click here to buy Ashes for just £4.12 at amazon.co.uk.
• We’re giving away 3 FREE chapters of Ashes. Enter your email address here.
• Read our exclusive review of the book.
• Follow the book’s publisher, Quercus, on twitter for more book news, excerpts and give aways.

Congratulations on a set of very well written and at times quite disturbing Zombie survival guides; our post-apocalyptic future seems guaranteed. Our favourite ideas included frying pan bashing, stair climbing, and an old classic – running very fast. We were less keen on the person who suggested covering their body with garlic – you’ve got your mythical creatures mixed up love.

But the winner whose if-you-can’t-beat-them-join-them plan was not only hilarious but worryingly well thought through is Jenni Carlisle. Your Kindle is on its way. We’ve also emailed the 10 runners up who get a copy of the book – so check your email now.

Remember you can get 3 free chapters of Ashes in your email by subscribing here.

A Kindle would probably be one of the least useful items to have on you during a zombie apocalypse, but we’ve got one to giveaway to the TTer who shares their best survival plan with the rest of us.

And why do we want your zombie survival plans? Well we’ve been reading new teen horror novel Ashes by Ilsa J. Bick, and let’s just say it’s been keeping us up in the dead of night wondering what the hell we would do if we were sharing the tube with some flesh-hungry folk…

Hit ‘continue reading’ to find out more.

Ashes was our first ever Weekend Read and if you DID read it, you’ll know that it tells the story of Alex, who is one of the few survivors of a destructive electromagnetic pulse that wipes out almost every living thing on the planet. Soon Alex begins to meet more people who weren’t obliterated, but some of them have reawakened with the urge to nibble on eyeballs.

So your task is simple. If you found yourself in a similar situation, surrounded by hungry zombies, what would YOU do?

The writer of our favourite guide will win a Kindle, and ten runners up will also get a copy of the book. All the winning entries will be featured on the site, so that in years to come people can check and make sure they’re prepared for the next attack.

THIS COMPETITION IS NOW CLOSED

Check out TT team member Emmie’s survival guide below for inspiration:

• The best idea is to get onto water – as far as I’m aware zombies can’t swim, it takes more ‘brain power’ than they have. So get yourself to the nearest boat
• The boat should be capable of holding more that 10 people, and has multiple levels – because if zombies do learn to swim you need to be able to get above them ready for the attack
• Make sure you grab a few friends on the way; they can help you grab supplies like food, weapons etc.
• Weapons wise you need to have blunt instruments for bashing, like baseball bats, which can be picked up from somewhere as safe as Toy ‘r’ Us.
• You’ll also need enough food and water to last for a looooong time, you don’t know how long you’ll be afloat for, but since you’re on a boat you can always float past shops and pick up more supplies if necessary – but watch out for zombies of course.
• Then make sure you follow the flow of water downstream towards the sea, because you’ll be safe out there (if you have enough supplies and don’t go crazy and/or kill each other).

Ashes is a much better guide to surviving a zombie attack. Find out more about here:

• Click here to buy Ashes for just £4.12 at amazon.co.uk.
• We’re giving away 3 FREE chapters of Ashes. Enter your email address here.
• Read our exclusive review of the book.
• Follow the book’s publisher, Quercus, on twitter for more book news, excerpts and give aways.

Oh My! Dirty Dancer. Not bad.

Out November 14th.

The one in which we promote the gossip, pics and video on our pop site maximumpop.co.uk:

• Justin Bieber’s barnet inspiration is…
• The Wanted are in trouble with the US police
• Don’t talk to Cher Lloyd about Cheryl Cole please
• One Direction are chatting about SEX
• Beyoncé is having a girl!
• Have Example and The Saturdays kissed and made up?

The one in which we promote the gossip, pics and video on our pop site maximumpop.co.uk:

• Britney Spears goes on the run in the Criminal video
• Joe Jonas: “A fan once gave me a dead shark”
• One Direction reveal album artwork and tracklisting
• Has Rihanna been watching too much Skins? Watch the We Found Love video
• The Wanted were at Number One in the midweeks with Lightning – party!
• Westlife have decided to split. *World Of Our Own marathon begins at TTHQ*

So you come third in the X Factor and go on to release a Number One single that becomes the most pre-ordered song in Sony Records’ history. Your debut music video is on the way to 16 million views, you’ve just released your second book and your army of fans are trending topics about you on Twitter 24/7… How on earth do you follow all of that up?

We’re no psychics, but we reckon One Direction must have had that question on their lips – and this morning new single Gotta Be You got its first radio play… But is it any good? Hit ‘continue reading’ to find out more.

So, how exactly DO you follow up one of the catchiest pop songs of the summer? With a soaring ballad, naturally. In true ex-X Factor contestant style, all the stops have been pulled out for Gotta Be You. Think stirring strings, marching drum beats and a falsetto chorus to make even the stoniest hearted teenager crumble, and you’d be halfway there.

Dodgy lyrics aside (“I’m the foolish one that you anointed with your heart”?) Gotta Be You is a perfect sequel to What Makes You Beautiful, showcasing a slightly more mature side to the boys and bearing a close enough comparison to tracks like Good Life by One Republic that suggests One Direction may indeed have a shot a Stateside success if they play their cards right.

One Direction – Gotta Be You is released on November 14th. This date has been added to the TT events calendar.

Gotta Be You, shit or hit? Listen to the song below and let us know what you think in the comments.

Parrot-loving girl duo Oh My! are finally releasing their first proper single, Dirty Dancer on November 14th. You’ll have to pay for this one though, so make sure you keep some cash spare. This event has been added to the TT events calendar, hit like if you’ll be downloading.

Forget dance floor make overs and half-arsed dance routines, there’s albums to be sold. The Saturdays return with the third single from new album On Your Radar – the ballad My Heart Takes Over. The song is pretty if not quite up to their best, and the video is pretty if not quite up to their best – a Britain’s Next Top Model photoshoot set to music. Watch My Heart Takes Over below:

Earlier today a lucky TTer and her friend joined quite good trumpet-loving pop duo Rizzle Kicks for lunch at Nando’s courtesy of Transport for London and teentoday.co.uk. We were asked to join them to meet the band and help support the cause. Instead we got an eduction in awful pop star opinion including the following major points:

• They massively regret recording the Children in Need single, admit it was “rubbish”, rolled their eyes and said “who” when the other people who took part were named, and claimed they thought the lyrics had been written by a “child in need”. The spent at least 5 minutes bashing it, adamant they only took part because they couldn’t say no, and then asked us not to say anything. Ooops.
• They say that there isn’t enough ‘real’ music in the charts, girl group Parade are “plastic” and find the concept of fun, escapist pop awful. Basically they hate Cher Lloyd, Parade, X Factor, your mum…
• They went into some massive defensive rant about Brit School-bashing ginger pop bore Ed Sheeran being the saviour of mankind.
• They liked their chicken really spicy.
• They called our opinions and manners “awful“ and said we’re childish on twitter. We said “I know you are you, but what am I?”.

Basically a not very good way to spend half an hour that won’t be repeated any time soon. Lesson learned.